Is it bad that I’m sick of talking to people all the time? I’m always the happy one, or the bubbly upbeat one that seems quite naive. In reality I know a lot more than I want to. Cynicism has become my friend. Not because I want to be a pessimist. I’m just sick to death of all the small-talk wafting around me. “Hi, how have you been? We should meet up!” Ugh. I dislike it with a passion. Yes it’s fine when friends do it. When friends ask you, they don’t bullshit you with the formalities of a standard conversation. Rather you know their words have authenticity and sincere meaning.
When some other person asks me that now, I feel like saying to them: “Do you even care? Will we see eachother again? If you see me tomorrow will you even manage to recognise me, stop me in my tracks, and say hello?” or maybe I’ll reply and say: “No, I feel like shit, wanna go and get lunch?” Only to be faced with an awkward pause, shuffling of the feet, and a “I’ve got so much going on right now, but honestly I’ll text you tonight and we can meet up next week!” They’ll hug me. They’ll run away. I may never get that text.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate the world. I am a nice person. Lovely, in fact. But why put up with sugary chit-chat that doesn’t get past the first hurdle, only to have you start all over again in five minutes with some other person?