The literal definition of “sidewalk” is: the side of the road, duh. This actually reminds me of one of my favourite films, which I have mentioned before: The Holiday. A sweet old man who goes by the name of Arthur Abbott – an ex-Hollywood screenwriter – tells Iris that it doesn’t seem she is the leading lady of her own life. That instead, she is behaving like the best friend. She then agreed with him, saying: “You’re supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for God’s sake!”. This line actually resonated with me, a lot as well as the whole damn film. I think I have behaved like the best friend a lot of my life. I have mentioned plenty of times on here that I have done a lot for other people. Only a few occasions in my life have I actually done something to solely help myself. That’s bad. It’s good to serve others, and show care and affection to those you love. But you can’t let yourself get trampled in the process. You can’t let it hinder your own recovery. Your own survival. Your own vitality. Why hurt yourself, at the expense of others’ happiness, to the extent where you can’t get through the day? I love those close to me. And the points in my life where I’ve chosen myself over them, have been so excruciating. It hurts. I question whether I did the right thing. Whether it was worth it. It makes it hard to sleep through the night, knowing I sacrificed something special for the sake of me. Me. Was I worth it? I did it for me. Me. I hardly even say the word “me”. Just saying it sounds selfish. Kind of like when they tell you to not overuse “I” in a university application essay. However we forget that too often are we pushed to the sidewalk when, in fact, we need the whole damn road. Peace and love, guys. I hope that anyone who is going through something where they feel pushed to the sidewalk, realises that sometimes you need to shift to the centre, and take up the road.

The Holiday GIF

This is a reply to Sidewalk.


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