Test

Life seems like a hard test because it is. But what kind of horrid test does it become when the test is you trying to sit up in bed? The test becomes you managing to force a smile. The test is you holding up a conversation with someone you just met and they ask you how you are, and you say “I am okay”, despite knowing that you were crying in the bathroom an hour earlier. That. That is a test. However, no matter testing things get, it’s important to remember the passing criteria. You show up. That’s it. You show your face. Even when you feel nothing but misery and it shows on your face. You pass, by showing up. When you can’t summon the strength to do ‘great things’ in your day. When you resign yourself to staying in another night alone. When you think: “All I did today was have a mediocre sandwich because I didn’t get up on time because I didn’t want to get up, so I didn’t have time to prepare lunch properly or even have a decent breakfast, which made me feel worse because I was really anxious at work and had to stop myself from welling up and -” No. Just stop. You passed. “You what?”. Yeah, you fricking passed. Like, shit…you didn’t think you did. But you did it. You showed up.

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