Live

Yesterday I cried. I seemed fine but then tears just poured out in the midst of a fight. Have you ever seen someone’s heart break? Have you ever looked into their eyes and seen them breaking apart? I did yesterday. In my younger brother. I told him off, and saw the despair in his eyes. It broke me, too. I was denying him of something he wanted. I saw myself in him. I was also denied something I wanted. I’ve come to terms with it, but seeing that look in his eyes, made me see myself. See myself breaking apart too. It made me remember what it felt like to have my dreams shattered. It made me feel the lump in my throat I felt on that day. The tears stinging in my eyes. The feeling of utter helplessness, as though I was sinking further downward. It reaffirmed to me that despite the fact that I can live in the present – in the now – the pain is still there. Heartbreak really never leaves you. And I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Because things like heartbreak shape us to be who we are today. And to have that event embedded in you doesn’t need to hurt you. Right now it does. Because it’s raw. But so far, I have come to realise that with time you can look back at what happened and feel acceptance that it led you to where you are today. That actually,  everything can be alright in the future (ugh, I am starting to hate that word, though). That it won’t deplete your soul, but instead give you the opportunity to renew it. And a renewed soul, is one that is open to love. One that is open to happiness. One that is open to seeing that life can be as worthwhile of a journey as you make it. And that thought, that one day I can reach that place – and look back on my heartbreaks with contentment – makes me want to live.

wizard sof waverly place one broken heart closer to happily ever after.gif

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