How do you know when you’re healing? When music fills your bones, and you can listen to a song without thinking of the pain. In the first two weeks, I couldn’t listen to any songs – or pretty much make any move – without thoughts and memories of them flooding my mind. It made me more sad that I couldn’t enjoy something to distract me without being reminded of their absence in my life. But after coming to terms with that, I sought out more than a song. A whole album. To me, there aren’t many better joys than listening to a whole album without skipping any of the songs and absolutely loving every single one. Each listen brings a new depth, a new meaning, a more enriching experience than the last.
The last album I felt this way about – coincidentally this time last year – was ‘ours’. And now I have my own. It liberates me to feel like I have some music with my own new memories. And to be honest, I’m kicking myself that I didn’t find this artist sooner – and one week after their UK tour has finished. It’s hard to express through writing, how gutted I am about that so let me reiterate: I am kicking myself.
The album is War & Leisure by Miguel, and I am currently binge-listening to ‘Told You So’. Which means plugging in and zoning out instead of studying – oops. I love the message of this song. Usually I’m all about music pleasing my ears and the message is a bonus and nothing more. Probably because I’m a shallow person, idk. But this song just grabbed me. Because it was saying something to me that I have been saying to others for a long time. That our world is fucked up and the countless wars we have inflicted on our brothers and sisters abroad is just fucking wrong. Like, hello? Do you want to know how a chain of terror attacks are happening in the western world, lately? It may have something to do with that little ‘War on Terror’ thing. You know the war on terror that wasn’t actually a war on terror, but was really a war on Iraq.
Anyway, I think I’m going to save all that for another post. But this song basically spoke to me. Literally saying: “I don’t wanna say I told you so, but I told you so“. And if I am honest, there are many different interpretations of it. Like how we are also mistreating and destroying the planet. Yeah we’re really fucking this place up. On a lighter note though, please enjoy this song.