Sometimes, I wonder if this blog becomes too much. Too emotionally explicit. Too raw. Too vulnerable. But I’ve never been someone who doesn’t express themselves for who they are, and I’m not going to start now. It shouldn’t be seen as ‘weak’ to express emotions freely. And in fact, I have found that doing so can help to determine what you really want from life.
For instance, are you in two minds about something? A little bit confused, perhaps a little lost? You may be on the brink of a big decision in your life and stuck between more than one option. Maybe it’s a career move, Maybe it’s to do with relationships. Maybe you don’t know whether to tell someone something you have been keeping from them. Over time, I have found something which has shown to work for me, and help me through this confusing process…
I just say what I want, out loud. Whether it’s to myself, or to a close friend, or to the person it concerns, I just say it. Then I listen to my gut feeling. Gut instincts are difficult to spot; so many times they have been masked with other ‘synthetic’ feelings. I call them synthetic because they aren’t my true feelings. Just what I have been made to believe is true. By the family that I grew up around, my friends, the TV I watch, the music I listen to. Literally so many factors can influence our thoughts and make us think ‘Yes, this is how I feel’ when in reality we don’t actually know our true opinion on the matter.
Thus, I remove myself away from these physical situations or these people (as much as I can), before saying what I want to say. I might say: ‘I want to be a dentist’. I would then elaborate if necessary and talk about the things I would be doing as a dentist. I then try and pay attention to the reaction it brings about within me. If it makes me feel uneasy, or I feel guilty, or like I am lying, then these are major alarm bells ringing and telling me that I am not comfortable with what I am saying. And genuinely, when you are saying something and it brings you any degree of discomfort, this is your body’s way of telling you that your words aren’t resonating with who you are inside. And I like to think of this as far from superstition, or paranoia, but simply intuition and awareness of what you really feel deep down.
And surely with time and practice, intuition and self-awareness can be honed and refined and it becomes progressively easier to understand and know whether you think a decision or a ‘truth’ is really true.
I know it’s a slim chance I would get answers, but if anyone stumbles upon this post, I’d be interested to know if you think in a similar way? Do you think that gut instincts mean anything?